Showing posts with label movie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movie. Show all posts

16 September 2019

Slumdogs And Millionaires

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Things didn't bode well for this new film version of Downton Abbey when I found myself sat next to a little old lady that had wandered to the cinema to watch the thing alone. “Don't mind me”, she said before cracking open a massive fucking bottle, “but I can hardly watch Downton without a Prosecco”. I've never seen a single fucking second of the show but it seems that even its fans need to get themselves fucking ratted to sit through it. I didn't even think it looked that good to begin with, so I figured that I'd need something stronger than a Prosecco to get me through it. I've never done cocaine in my life and I have no clue if it makes films more watchable but as the granny to my left proceeded to get herself twatted it seemed like now might be a good time to find out. Alas, the trailers had already finished at this point and I live such a sheltered life that unless Al Pacino had walked in with his Scarface costume then I wouldn't know what the fuck a drug dealer looked like. As the film went on and I found myself bored to fucking tedium I concluded that I was now faced with two options. I could remain sober and risk the film being so dull that my mental health might never quite recover or I could make a fucking move on the old lady and attempt to get pissed off the alcoholic fumes of her Prosecco-laced breath. 





12 July 2016

Star Trek 3: The Search For Spock

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Star Trek 3: The Search For Spock - What the fuck is it about?

I mean the story for this film is pretty obvious I suppose, considering the title is 'The Search For Spock'. Although I still think that a better title would have been Star Trek 3: Finding Nemoy. The previous film ends with Kirk shooting Spock's dead body out of the Enterprise, jettisoned towards the planet Genesis. It was the perfect blend of sci-fi, funeral, and fly-tipping. Coincidently, the planet in question has an atmosphere that apparently allows things to come back from the dead, which is lucky. Somebody should book a flight to it for Lindsay Lohan's career. Before Spock died, he conveniently popped his memories into Bones' head, which was also pretty lucky. It was basically like saving onto a USB a few seconds before your computer crashes. Kirk discovers this when he finds McCoy acting as though he's been possessed whilst sitting in Spocks bedroom. To be fair, I suspect that the odder of Star Trek's fans have done much stranger things in their rooms with their Bones.

The mission therefore is to travel to Planet Plot Contrivance where Spock's body has been resurrected and plonk his memories back into his head. Did I mention that Spock is a child now? No? Well, he is. The planet brought him back as a kid because it somehow knew that Nemoy was directing and wanted to save him the job of acting too. Honestly, this planet is so useful. If only it had written the script to the first fucking movie too!

So was it shit or not then?

With this, it was as though they'd turned my dead Granddad into a movie. I didn't love it, but you know.. I didn't hate it. The biggest problem that the film really has is that it seems to exist exclusively as a way of un-doing all the drama of the previous movie. Kind of in the way that the X-Men franchise now seems to exist with the sole purpose of undoing the events of X-Men 3. The main difference obviously being that, unlike X3, Wrath of Khan wasn't a steaming puddle of piss. Actually, speaking of X3, do you remember when McKellen gave the shittest ever delivery of the phrase 'what have I done'?! Well, it turned out that Shatner actually had him beat all along. Kirk witnesses the Enterprise explode and attempts that line with the same level of bored emotion that I have when holding a conversation with my family. Having said that, it's kind of a shame that Shatner has now descended into tedious self-parody because he's actually pretty good in these. Well, there is another moment in which he reacts to the death of his son in the style of Jim Carrey shitting his pants, but I guess nobodies perfect.

I did like this film too, to a degree. I was really excited to finally see the Klingons and even more excited when I found out that the main one was an angry Christopher Lloyd looking like he'd smeared himself in shit and then rolled about on a barbershop floor. It was fun watching the young Spock grow up over the course of ninety minutes too which is something that the average Star Trek fan hasn't managed in up to fifty fucking years. The theme of movie is regarding how far friends will go for each other and here we learn that if one friend assumes another friend is dead and then finds out that he was wrong... he'll go and pick him up. I'd like to think that I have friends that would do that for me. So poignant.





30 March 2015

Flying High

The worst flight I've ever been on was when I was blackmailed into going to Greece for my dad's second wedding. I travelled with my nan and aunt on a plane full of horny teenagers who were all excited for the non-stop partying that they were presumably about to enjoy. I was only in my early twenties but after my two family members, I was easily the third oldest person on board by some fucking years. Imagine arriving at a rave with your nan and not being able to leave because the only exit was a ten thousand foot drop and that's exactly what it was like. They were loud, drunk, annoying, and I'm pretty sure that the two in front of us were basically shagging. I'm not exactly a people-person at the best of times and so this was literally my worst nightmare. I promise you that for the few hours we were in the air I was praying for something to go wrong to shut these fuckers up. Just one massive explosion and the noisy bastards would have been blasted out and burnt up in the atmosphere! Obviously I'd have been killed too but it would have been worth it. Like a martyr for the misanthropes, I'd have died fucking happy.  



9 March 2015

A Bad Book

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Is it just me or does it seem unfair to refer to a single parent family as 'broken'? Sure, single mums sometimes get stressed and drown their children in the bath, but that's not to say a couple with a kid is any better. I'm from a single parent family and to be honest I prefer it to when my parents were together. Some people just aren't right for one another and before my Mum moved out I wasn't allowed to stay up late, so I can't say I was too arsed. If anything was upsetting, I suppose it was the inevitable custody battle where parents fight over who gets to keep their child. It's not that I felt torn between the two but rather that it simply never happened, as both sides were happy to leave me with the other. Bastards! It was a shame too as not only was my loyalty up for the highest bidder but I think a large scale game of 'Who Loves Me The Most' would have done wonders for my confidence. Sure I was almost in my twenties by the time they got divorced but fuck them it'd still have been nice.


30 June 2014

Fight Your Guts Out


If you were to slice open my veins, I swear to God I'd bleed out cheese. When my Mum left, I suddenly lost a shit-load of weight and for the first time in my life I was actually skinny. Not because I wasn't eating by the way, but because suddenly I was responsible for whatever shit I wanted to stuff into my greedy face. As it turns out, I pretty exclusively love meat, bread and not much else. It took me a few months to realise that I'd accidentally put myself on the Atkins Diet and was probably one spoonful of mayo away from a full cardiac arrest. In a brief attempt to remain alive, I therefore decided to go for a jog which to my surprise started off quite well. In fact it was so easy that for a split second I thought that I might actually be a runner and it'd just taken me this long to try it and realise. It didn't last... by the second minute, I was basically just dragging myself along the pavement unable to breathe and using what little energy I had left to try and resist the urge to puke out my fucking lungs. Oh, and none of that is counting the time I went so long without eating fruit that my lips started to fall off and I became the first non-pirate ever to possibly catch scurvy. To reiterate, I might not be fat but I am not a fit or healthy person.


17 March 2014

I Approve Of This Union



Here's a quick test to work out how you'll feel about The Grand Budapest Hotel... Did you like the last film you saw by director Wes Anderson? If ‘no’ then I wouldn't expect you to like this one either. I mean, I don't like trifles and so when I'm presented with a new one it's not that I won't like it but rather I suppose that the odds just aren't in my favour. You can change all the little details such as the type of jelly and all that shit but at the end of the day you’re still only left with a trifle. If however you went for the correct answer of yes then congratulations because you are in for a hell of a treat. This film is the magnus opus of Anderson's puddings made by a chef at the top of his game and with such a confidence in his own recipe that it's the purest and most expertly crafted trifle that you'll have ever tasted. If you like trifles then you will seriously love this film. Wait… what? Oh- I'm talking bollocks. Just, err... Well, to put it bluntly, The Grand Budapest Hotel is fucking phenomenal!

The film starts with a young girl opening a book near a monument dedicated to its author. The film starts with that author talking about his life. The film starts in the 1960's with the author as a younger man in a hotel and chatting to its current owner. The film starts with that owner as a younger man in the 1930's when he began his tutorage as a lobby boy under the current concierge, Mr. Gustave. The film starts... the film starts with a lot of fucking openings. The stuff in the 30's seems to take the bulk of it though with Gustave running The Grand Budapest Hotel with the precise efficiency of an obsessive watchmaker suffering from a bad case of the autism. He attends to all his clients’ needs ensuring that everybody has a pleasant stay and that all of his staff are at the absolute top of their game. Also because he's a true British gent, Gustave takes special care of some of his older female visitors by paying them a little extra attention and then occasionally fucking them stupid. Sadly, the sudden murder of his one favourite dodderer disrupts everything when it's revealed that she'd left him some significant inheritance in gratitude for fiddling with her leathery old lady wallet. As the main suspect, Gustave and his lobby boy then go on the run in a land that's so stylised it's like boiling Wes Anderson's brain on a rusty spoon and then injecting it straight into your fucking eyes. This is some good shit...

With pleasure, M. With pleasure.
I'm a huge fan of the James Bond franchise to the point that I once had a dream where, by sheer coincidence, I happened to meet both Sean Connery and Roger Moore at the exact same time. I know full well that this incident took place entirely in my own head but I still think it's a good contender for the best day of my life. What a fucking depressing fact... anyway, considering how many of those films there are, how important they've been and how blatant their formula is, I think there's a genuine argument that the Bond franchise should be classed as its own sub-genre. At this point and having now seen The Grand Budapest Hotel, I almost think the same could be said of Anderson's films too, to a degree. Any single frame of any one of his movies is so impenetrably his own that it's as if all he's done is stick a torch against one of his ears and then project the beam out through the other and onto a screen. Whether this latest film is his best I suppose is up for debate but at the very least it's certainly the most Wes Anderson film he's ever made. Kubrickesque camera movements, use of stop-motion, yellow titles, characters dressed up like himself, precisely symmetrical framing and quirkiness coming out of its arse are all more than present. If this was a Bond film it would definitely be his Goldfinger in which all the elements of his previous films have come together with such a confidence that the final product is a brick shit-house of his own unique style.

However, like marmite, rap music and un-consented titty fondles, Wes Anderson does seem to be a little divisive. Whereas some people go into a full-on jizz-fit over his shit, others seem to struggle to feel the hype and I therefore presume also find his style too distancing to get into. As I'm guessing has been made clear at this point I'm very much on team jizz-fit for his work and so I struggle to understand how people can't like him. I understand that they think he has style over substance but that's not too say he doesn't also have a lot of substance. People also claim that his characters aren't so much characters as they are simply walking quirks but my response to that is simply that it's just bollocks. I admit that perhaps this might be slightly true of some of his side characters with Willem Dafoe's psycho here being a good example of that I suppose. Although even to defend that, he's no less a character than a million others like him in other films... Perhaps the grizzled biker in the Coen Brothers Raising Arizona might be another one and that has been scientifically proven to be a masterpiece. Well, not by any actual scientists but certainly in my own head it has. I think the silent nutter is just a trope that gets dished out now and again and so what? At least in the case of both the Coen's and Anderson, I'd suggest their use of it is done somewhat ironically. Take almost any main character in any one of Anderson's films and I'll bet you that they're more well-drawn than almost any you'll find anywhere else. Richie Tenenbaum, Steve Zissou, Max Fischer and now Gustave H. I don't know what the rest of the year has in store for us but presuming Russia doesn't nuke us off the planet then I guarantee that Ralph Fiennes’ performance will become one of the more memorable of 2014.

Beyond his style, the written characters, the crazy amount of amazing actors, the story, and the soundtrack however, there are two other reasons that I love Anderson's films. Firstly they're just hilarious and secondly they're also heartbreakingly sad... again this latest one is no exception. Depending who you are, the odds are you'll think of Fiennes as the noseless bastard who tried to kill a magical child or even the fat slice of fuck who succeeded in killing a hell of a lot of Jews. The closest he's come to doing comedy that I know of is In Bruges and even in that the humour comes from how fucking demented he is. Here however there's a side to Fiennes that has remained untapped as it turns out he's as natural at performing comedy as he was being a hate-filled Nazi cunt. What a range! This might be the most Wes Anderson film that Anderson has ever created but I don't think it's my favourite with The Life Aquatic possibly retaining the top spot for me. Having said that, I think Gustave may be my new favourite character from all of his films which is quite the statement considering that's contending with at least seven lots of Bill Murray. There's just something about Gustave with his complete Britishness, his politeness, his sweary rants, his appreciation of life's niceties and then these random fucking existential outbursts that I loved. This questioning of life also comes back to the sadness however as, like all the others, this is a film that's drowning in melancholy. Everybody knows that nothing lasts forever and it's obvious that all of these people are coming to the end of their relevance. In many ways, this really is The Wild Bunch of nostalgic old hotel employees.  

This film has everything from huge laughs to effective prison survival methods!
So yes, as usual, Anderson's style is more eye catching than a giant ballsack made of rainbows but so what? In our boring world of the bland, why is such an obvious sense of identity such a bad thing? Visually, I can't really distinguish between a Michael Bay movie and a Roland Emmerich one and yet despite also being shittier than a fat man’s undercrackers, they make a fuck load of cash. I can't tell from looking whether a film is by either of those two men although if it turns out to be Michael Bay then I can generally guess from the crippling pangs in my soul. Anyway, to go on a slight tangent, I once spent a long time chasing after some girl who was clearly a bitch and I knew it. To find out why I wasn't listening to my brain I did a little post-porn internet research and found a psychological thing called The Halo Effect. To sum it up, it's basically a disease of the mind that allows you to like people you think are fit despite the fucking grief and kicks to the heart they might cause. The girl kind of took the piss with me but I couldn't just walk away because I'm a nice guy and she had nice tits. It happens. I mention this because, to a degree, I think this Halo effect has sort of consumed me for Wes Anderson's films too... except he's done nothing wrong for me to need to ignore, I guess. I love his stuff so much that I struggle to see how somebody can't like them at all. It's not that I don't agree with them, it's that I literally can't work out what's not to enjoy. If you're one of those people then please send in your issues on a postcard to help me understand... Or better yet, there's always the comments section below. Otherwise we should all just assume I'm right and accept that like everything else he's made, The Grand Budapest Hotel is a fucking masterpiece.

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24 February 2014

The Dreams Of The People Live On



There are certain films which, like the genitals of an old French whore, should be left untouched. If anybody remade a classic like Casablanca then they'd effectively be condemning themselves to that section of Hell where angry geeks spend an eternity pissing fire into their victims’ eyes whilst crying. For some people, The Wizard of Oz is one of those 'untouchable films' with the original being very close to their probably-quite-camp hearts. Personally I only got around to seeing it last year which by coincidence ended up being the same week that Thatcher snuffed it and the song 'Ding Dong the Witch Is Dead' made an amusing appearance in the charts. I really enjoyed the film though and could more than see everything that was great about it from the iconic set design to the ambiguous reality and particularly the brave choice of having a sociopath as the lead character. Seriously, watch it again and pay attention to just how many times Dorothy kills and how little a shit she gives about it. She fucks people up whilst expressing all the concern of a retarded cabbage with empathy issues and a historically awful upbringing.

Despite enjoying the film though I suppose I probably admired it more than I actually loved it. Therefore when I heard about the prequel, Oz The Great And Powerful I really wasn't too arsed either way. As far as I'm concerned, there's a load of books in that series to draw from and there's already been a few other crappy movies to taint the legacy as it is. Directed by Geek God Sam Raimi, this new addition aimed to tell the journey of Oz, the Wizard from the original, as he goes from being a barebones nobody to the fraudster leader of a bullshit world. Of course, like anybody with eyes, I'm a huge fan of Raimi's and would more than donate a few hours of my life to experience anything that sprang from his demented mind. However like the extra bollock in an already crowded nutsack there was something about this film that worried me. From the moment it was announced as being a big budget update of an old classic, and particularly by Disney, I'm sure I can't be the only person to get flashbacks to Tim Burtons Alice in Wonderland... which at our politest I'm sure we all remember as being a massive lump of shit.

"I hope to fuck this isn't Wonderland..."
This film begins during the dark days of 1905 as a giant storm rips through the monochrome grimness of a dustbowl Kansas. Oz is a selfish cock who performs rubbish magic shows to mostly empty seats whilst treating his only friend like shit and trying to shag any woman that dares to have tits. After unsuccessfully trying to chat up the wrong girl, her boyfriend chases after Oz causing him to make the logical decision of jumping into a hot air balloon and flying straight into a tornado. So although he might not have managed to have sex that day at least he can still claim to have been sucked off...  also, I know that's an awful joke but fuck you. Anyway, after surviving the ordeal he crash lands in the mysterious world of Oz which is currently enduring a three way power struggle between three controlling witches. Obviously he's got to defeat them or at least the two evil ones... because you know... God help us be subjected to an original story! However there is at least some degree of mystery because although we know he does succeed thanks to this being a prequel, we also know that he doesn't kill them. That's for crazy old Dorothy and her blank faced murder spree later on. So I guess the tension isn't about how Oz will kill his adversaries but more about how will he outsmart them. Also I know that Oz the man shares his name with Oz the world he ends up in but I guess that just a coincidence. Kind of like if Paris Hilton crashed in the city of Paris, Orlando Bloom crashed in the city of Orlando or Rip Torn crashed in the vagina of Lindsey Lohan. Urgh... that's two bad jokes in one over-long paragraph... Fuck you again!

So if I was worried about this being reminiscent of that shitty Tim Burton film then the opening few minutes didn't exactly put me at ease. I know Danny Elfman has worked with Raimi a lot too but because he's a musical slut, his work and sound is surely mostly associated with Burton's movies? Well I think so anyway. I actually already tried to watch Oz The Great And Powerful a day earlier but it just put me in the mood for Big Fish so I ended up switching it off with the plan of watching that instead. I didn't in the end because I got distracted by a row with my stepmum but the point still stands. Also she's a bitch. Anywho, the Burton references don't just end there as they also pretty much look like they're set in the same world too. Every so often, Franco's Oz would turn a corner to which I half expected him to find a ginger Johnny Depp performing the futterwacken. Fact fans might be interested to know that the literal translation of Futterwacken is 'to make a twat of oneself'. That's a lie but whatever... Both films also take two classic films and then annoyingly build them up to a final showdown in which armies are expected to clash. And in both cases the promise of that battle sounded about as exciting as trying to toss off to a broken egg timer whilst wearing oven gloves and crying.

On the bright side though, there is one key difference between Raimi and Burton’s two films and it's that Raimi's isn't shit. It's one of those movies that lives in the bland world... never offensive and always teasing the satisfaction of something better. Although because that satisfaction never comes I guess this is really the cinematic equivalent of 'blue ball'. Also, as much as it has aspects that are similar to one of Burton’s more piss poor efforts, it also has traces that stand this apart as very definitely a Raimi film. For a start there's its love of classic cinema, slapstick and a noticeable use of kinetic, comic book style camera movements. Oh and of course there's also the traditional cameo from Bruce Campbell who is this time buried under a layer of prosthetics so thick that it was only thanks to his fuck-off chin that I recognised him. Oh and if that wasn't enough I suppose there's also the small similarity between the plot of this movie and of Raimi's 1992 film Army of Darkness as they're near fucking identical.

Both Army of Darkness and Oz The Great And Powerful begin when a man accidentally travels from our world to a fantasy one. The hero also instantly starts a kind of relationship with a woman who, spoiler alert- turns evil as the film progresses. Although I guess that's the logical conclusion of most relationships to be fair... In both movies’ cases, the main character is also kind of a cock whose charm can be found in their smugness and who seems to be the solution to an ancient prophecy that predicts peace for the land. Oh and there's an evil witch in each film with the two looking so similar that they could start a weekly support group with Mark Wahlberg and Matt Damon called, 'nobody can tell us apart'. On top of all that, the flying monkeys of Oz look remarkably similar to the flying deadites of Darkness. Although sadly Franco doesn't kill his souring simians by blowing their heads off with a bastard shotgun and then start screaming that everybody's a “primitive screwhead”.

Hail to the king, baby!
To kind of conclude, if you saw Jack The Giant Slayer then this is pretty much on par with that. Actually, if it wasn't quite so long it'd probably even be better. Oz the Great and Powerful isn't the Wonderland shaped shit stain on Raimi's filmography that many worried but nor was it worthy of his talents. In fact if you watched Army of Darkness and wished it was longer, child-friendly and smacked of studio guidelines then honestly you'll fucking love this! Kind of like Singer's Giant Slayer it's just one of those films that was alright but not worth sticking an extra two year delay on a great director making a film more worthy of them. If you loved the original Wizard of Oz then this won't rape your childhood- although at worst I suppose it's probably given it an inappropriate fondling.

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20 January 2014

FatMan and Robbing


I've recently been reading a lot about the psychologist Carl Jung partly because understanding his theories makes me feel smart but mostly because I enjoyed Michael Fassbender's performance of him in A Dangerous Method. Anyway, Jung came up with this idea of us all having a persona which acts as a kind of mask by which we present ourselves to the world. On the one hand we have this persona to highlight the aspects of ourselves that we think are great but on the other we use it to avoid others from finding out about the bits of us that are actually kind of shit. Some people might want to seem more relaxed or ‘hip’ than they really are whereas others just don't want to be suspected for killing all those prostitutes that they keep dead in the cellar. Facebook is a great way in which we can do this nowadays as we spend hours crafting the idealised version of ourselves for our friends to accept. We delete the crap photos where we look ugly, whilst using, as profile pictures, any in which we're stood next to a fat person or ideally anybody with something as uncouth as a hunchback.

We have an idea in our head of who we'd like to be seen to be, and so I suppose any time we're presented with options relating to our presentation then we go for the ones that support that image. A perfect way of figuring out what a person is about might be their clothes, the way they've decorated their house or even the style of their hair for example. Personally I have a ponytail which suggests that I like people to think that I'm laid back whilst at the same time suggesting a hatred of conformity... because a ponytail is an act of rebellion that's only slightly less clichéd than getting a shit tattoo of a skull and listening to heavy metal music. Although that is true, the other reason is that after years of battling with my shorter, sticky up hair, I eventually gave up and disowned the fucker... He does what he wants and I won't question it so long as he leaves me alone in return. Turns out that what my hair wants to do when left to its own devices is grow. Who'd have thought it?

Batman, Mystique, Hawkeye, Lois Lane.. and introducing Bradley Cooper as 'Pubehead'..
I mention all of this because it seems that hair is the key to understanding the film American Hustle or to give it its original and far superior title... American Bullshit. Taking place in the late 70's and early 80's, the movie tells the story of a fat balding con-man played by Christian Bale who, along with his partner Amy Adams, is forced into becoming a mole for the FBI. In fact there's a good few scenes near the start where those two get to know each other by having fun and dicking about which is kind of like the shittest Justice League movie you could possibly imagine! This film is directed by David O'Russell who, some people will remember as the director of Three Kings, The Fighter and Silver Linings Playbook and who others won't remember as the director of I Heart Huckabees. In case none of that rings any bells though then he's also the guy that got into a proper tussle with George Clooney on one set and was filmed losing his shit with Lily Tomlin on another. In regards to the Lily Tomlin one I suggest you check it out on YouTube if you haven't already just to see how blindly mad one human can possibly get... also it's fucking hilarious to see him storming in and out of various set doors as though it's a chase scene in a Scooby Doo cartoon whilst the elderly actress that he's screaming at remains fairly chilled out. If we're going back to Jung's theory of personas then it seems David O'Russell has worked pretty hard at presenting himself to the world as a massive angry twat.

Anyway I said that hair was the key to understanding this film and it is, with each character sporting head pubes so awful that the shamed barber responsible should be forced to fall on his scissors. Christian Bale has gone for the classic look of having a bald head on top but with long hair around the sides to comb over after hiding the naked scalp below a scraggily glued on merkin. However despite being proper ridiculous, it really just serves to show us who the character is as the film opens with a long sequence in which Bale lovingly and meticulously crafts it from scratch. It's hard to create but shows that he's a man who'll put in the time and patience for just a little dignity. It also shows a more human side to him as we see a misjudged attempt at hiding vulnerability by accidentally drawing attention to it. His hair really has its cake and eats it by partly helping to endear him to us but also getting laughs out of how much of a knob it makes him look. This is true of pretty much everybody else too with Bradley Cooper’s tightly wound perm being representative of his tightly wound and slightly manic personality. I suppose that for both Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence who are both kind of fighting for Bale’s attention... well, their hair is like a peacocks feathers getting bigger and bigger as one tries to intimidate the other whilst keeping the eye of their mate on them. As well as these world class actors, the comedian Louis CK turns up as a fat, balding man with a ginger goatee... Amazing how chameleonic some people can be.

However not only does the hair tell you about the characters, it is so over the top and eye-catching that it draws your attention to just how fucking superficial everything is. Like any movie about money that's set near the end of the 70's and definitely the 80's, American Hustle also shows off the excess of those slightly tacky decades. For anybody who flashed their cash, films like this, Wall Street and American Psycho revel in their depiction of double crossing arseholes who hide their two faces behind either shoulder pads and beehives or pinstripe suits and offensively un-erotic porno tache's. This superficial streak is only emphasised by the films plot which is about a group of people who make a living from conning people into believing that they're people that they're not. I've never used the word 'people' more in my life than that previous sentence. Considering this was during crime’s tutorial decades where there was no internet to quickly Google for bullshit, assuming false identities was simply a case of coming up with a character, dressing up and again... presenting the correct persona. For the sake of this blog alone, I am so fucking glad that I read that shit by Jung.  

"It smells funny.. Like my fingers are here to fucking amuse you?"
However this idea of presenting a false persona through superficial details not only exists within the plot of American Hustle but actually within the DNA of the movie itself. The film has long swooping camera movements, cool edits, a heavy reliance on voice-overs and a great soundtrack. It also examines both morally grey characters, the corruption of the American Dream and also puts more emphasis on people's relationships than the actual plot. Just short of shagging Liza Minnelli, doing too much cocaine and almost dying of asthma, American Hustle seems desperate to convince us all that it is the work of Martin Scorsese. On top of that, there's a scene here that seems to take place in the same restaurant as the Goodfellas, 'Funny how? scene' and a fight between Bale and Lawrence that to anybody with blurred vision is kind of like the fight between De Niro and Sharon Stone in Casino. In fact the only thing it lacked to make it feel completely like a Scorsese film is the appearance of De Niro as a violent Mobster and then bam! About half way in.. Spoiler Alert... De Niro shows up as a violent mobster.

However, rather than feel like a Scorsese rip-off the film gets away with it because firstly, the whole thing is about depicting fake identities through surface details and secondly, it's just so much damn fun. Although at the very worst it did make me desperate to catch up with The Wolf of Wall Street. I can say with some certainty that so far this is definitely my favourite film of 2014 which is only partly down to the fact that it's the only one I've seen so far. However, even if that wasn't the case there's surely no way that anybody couldn't enjoy the scene where Lawrence is going apeshit to the song Live and Let Die and dancing like a pisshead with a power cable up her arse. To conclude, if you've not seen American Hustle then I recommend you go and check it out because it's funnier than most comedies and features great performances from everybody... Particularly Amy Adams who seems to be playing three characters at once- she's an English woman, an American Woman and a woman who can't decide if she's the English or American one. I'm not sure what Jung would say about the persona she puts out considering she's confused by it herself although I might have to read on and find out. In fact I only read the book once and there's a good chance that I might have gotten all this persona bullshit wrong. I'm pretty sure I haven't but... fuck.. I'll go re-read it. Hope you enjoy and see you next week motherfuckers!

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