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The
Klingons are about to become our friends after years of constantly
getting their head-fannies in a twist. In response, the Federation
holds a top-secret meeting to discuss the future. Oh, but Scotty's
there, by the way. Because if you're holding a top secret meeting
about the future of galactic politics, you'll definitely need a ship's
engineer there. When the Berlin Wall came down I'm pretty sure that
there'd have been room for a car mechanic around that Dr
Strangelove-style table at The Pentagon. The Federation decides that
Kirk is to meet a Klingon leader and escort him back to Earth to join
in negotiations. This is despite Kirk still being a little
space-racist towards the Klingons for murdering his boring son a few
movies back. We know this because Kirk says it out loud whilst alone
in his bedroom. I guess he has nothing better to do than talk to
himself whilst walking around a spaceship as it travels around the
galaxy.
Anyway,
despite Kirk being on his best behaviour, things do go titties up when
most of the Klingons are murdered and he finds himself framed for
it. A murder mystery type plot then begins in which Spock tries to
decide which of the Enterprise crew may be the actual culprits in
order to clear Kirk's name. Could it be their friend Uhura? The
trusted Chekov? What about Scotty? Surely at his weight, the only
thing that he could murder would be a bacon fucking butty. Okay.. so what
about the new recruit played by Kim Cattrall? You know... the one who
it most definitely is? Hmm, I guess you'll have to watch and see!
So was it shit or not then?
Beyond
anything, this entry probably has the best cast of any of these movies
so far. I mean, Christopher Plummer plays a patch-wearing Vulcan as
the villain, and who doesn't love watching Christopher Plummer? Plus,
if you need your movies villain to be a dick then you can certainly
do worse than a one eye'd alien with a pink head. As mentioned, Sex
And The City's Kim Cattrall also pops up making this her first
appearance in the spin-off movie to a long-running TV show that
refuses to acknowledge the ageing of its cast. Although that's
probably being a little unfair. Not on her, but on this film which for
the first time has Spock say to Kirk “Have we grown so old that
we've out-grown our usefulness?” in a moment of poignant
brilliance. It's just a shame that it's taken six films and God knows
how many tight leather belts to get to it.
As
is always the case with the Star Trek films,
there's an obvious but admirable subtext here in the way that its
story paralleled the recent end to The Cold War. Although fuck that,
the movie also features a scene in which Kirk fights an alien that
takes on his appearance. I'd argue that that was the most
unbelievable part of the franchise- that any creature would willingly
look like a portly old Kirk, but who can be cynical with two
Shatners on screen? That also means that the veteran Trek
actor is now in the same club as
such esteemed actors as Dead Ringers' Jeremy
Irons, Legend's Tom
Hardy, and Double Impact's Jean-Claude
Van Damme. In fact, Kirk V Kirk aside, this entire scene is pretty
enjoyable as it also features the widest range of visually
interesting aliens seen in the series so far. The only thing that
worried me is that it's set in a prison called Rura Penthe. When Kirk
was sentenced to “hard time” there, I misheard Rura Penthe as
"Uhura's panties" and at their age, I really didn't want to see that.
Is
this film worth watching? Well, yes. I'm watching them in order of
their release and so far it's the best since Wrath Of Khan.
Plus Plummer's villain is
constantly quoting plays such as Julius Caesar and
Hamlet. So regardless,
I'd say this movie is worth seeing simply for being a Star
Trek film that's co-written by
William fucking Shakespeare.
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