A Truffle Pig Hunting For Clichés

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Before the new Bad Boys For Life, I'd never seen a single film in the Bad Boys franchise. Mostly because they sound like the title of a series of gay pornos and they're directed by Michael Bay. God, I can't stand Michael Bay's movies. If I had to pick I'd rather watch a gay porno over a Michael Bay movie. At least the gay porno would be less gratuitous and I'd actually be surprised if it went on for a further ten minutes after the final explosion. This new Bad Boys movie has a new directing team behind it though and so I felt it'd be okay to go and see it without my usual collection of pendants and protective charms. But then about half an hour into the movie, Michael Bay actually shows up for a cameo like Jason Voorhees springing out of the fucking lake to drown that girl at the end of Friday The 13th. “Why is nobody booing and hissing at the screen” I wondered of my fellow moviegoers, “Do they not know who he is?”. Truly the Devil walks amongst us. Not that he directed this movie don't forget. I can't remember the names of the two guys at the helm this time, but it doesn't matter. The film looks like an advert for an expensive watch that you'd expect to find on the wrist of a sexual predator that thinks he's in Entourage. I didn't hate it though. The movie I mean. Not the sexual predator. Or the expensive watch that I made up. 

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I'm currently 28 years old and is it just me or are most of the generations above mine not quite as rude? I don't mean rude in the sense that my generation slams doors into old people's faces. That's not because of rudeness.. that's because they keep voting for things that end up fucking us over and there's more of them. I mean 'rude' as in that they say things that sound sexual without any obvious clue as to what they're doing. For example I was in work the other day and a member of the generation above mine said, “Is anybody going to come with me?” She then looked out of the window to see it was raining and added, “Or am I going to be getting wet all by myself?” Nobody even smiled! I was even talking to my own Mum after that about her partner who was told he couldn't go running any more because his knee was basically buggered. After discovering he'd gone out running regardless, I asked “I didn't think he was able to run any more because of his knee?” To which my Mum obliviously responded with, “Well, I just told him to get a strap on and now he can”. I mean how did she not hear that? How is a strap-on going to help somebody run? Is that to hand to somebody faster to wear and then have them fucking chase you?