Taking The Rocky Path

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I saw a thing on Twitter the other day in which somebody asked, “What is the best bad movie that you love?” to which somebody else answered with Rocky 4, and I thought 'well, fuck the rest as that is the actual answer'. Rocky 4 is a piece of shit movie in which the franchise started snorting pure uncut 80's culture to the point that it lost its grip on reality. There are some poignant moments in it such as the death of Apollo Creed, which obviously plays into the new movie Creed 2. The rest of us however, can only really remember it for its montages. There's a montage of Stallone running up a mountain, carrying logs, and pulling sledges. At one point there's even a montage of all the other fucking montages from the previous movies. In all cases, he strains his face to resemble a kicked-in ballsack with a pair of mismatched googly-eyes stuck on it. Let's not forget the bit either in which the film pretty much stops to show us a ten minute James Brown concert for no reason whatsoever. Oh, and there's a robot butler in that one too because there was presumably too much cocaine knocking about when the script was being written. Rocky 4 is a crap movie but I'll be fucked if I don't admit that it's fun to watch.

Black Heroes Matter

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Saying that there are too many superhero movies is a bit like claiming to be a “stable genius” in that the only realistic response to both should be to ask, “what the fuck are you talking about?” Both Thor: Ragnarok and Justice League are technically 'superhero' movies but do they have any real similarities? The former was like getting stoned and watching Masters Of The Universe through a kaleidoscope whereas the latter was like stumbling over in the dark and getting dog shit in your eyes... except in that case you kind of hoped you'd go blind. Black Panther is the latest film to be released within the Marvel Cinematic Universe and again it couldn't be more different from what's come before. I guess when people think of 'superhero' movies they think of a super-powered nobody putting on a mask to protect their identity before going out to fight crime. And I suppose Black Panther does wear a mask to fight things. But so do Mexican wrestlers and nobody seems to include them despite how many dwarves they defeat. Rather than tackling crime though, Black Panther is actually about a newly coronated king as he attempts to protect the throne of his advanced albeit isolated African nation from an outsider that's understandably bitter about colonisation and the treatment of his race. To dismiss that as 'just another superhero movie' would be like indiscriminately breathing in carbon monoxide on the grounds of “fuck it.. it's all just gas”.

A Rocky Legacy?

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When I was finishing school, my Dad suggested to me that I consider his line of work as a possible career path. Obviously I ruled this out on the grounds that it's not the fucking Victorian times and I'd rather hang myself than do something as cliched as follow in my father's footsteps. Little did I know that, after nepotism, the only way to get a decent job would be to find the CEO of a company and suck them off in an alley. Creed is the seventh film in the Rocky series, one which has decided to spin off and focus on the young son of the franchise's Hulked up Lando Calrissian, Apollo Creed. Little Creed is determined to do his own thing despite who his father was and he admirably wants to make a name for himself on his own merits. Bearing in mind my own stubbornness on the subject and subsequent lack of success, hope, and happiness, I see him and I as being kindred spirits. So to make it on his own he decides to become a part of his fathers profession, forces his father's ex-world-champion friend to train him, and then takes on his first big match simply as a result of who his father was. Oh, right... good job with the whole 'making it on your own' thing. Prick.