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At
the beginning of War For The Planet Of The Apes, the ape leader
Caesar suffers a devastating blow which sparks him off on a mission
of revenge, putting his very soul at risk. At a pivotal moment in
this movie, some dumb motherfucking bitch that was sat near to me got
her stupid twatting phone out, lighting the cinema up and distracting
me from an otherwise emotional scene. My soul has already been well
and truly lost and so I wish nothing but the most carnivorous of
parasites to latch itself onto that simplistic bint's brain and to
chew its way through to her fucking spinal cord. Caesar, however, is
more thoughtful than me. The focus of his revenge is the leader of a
cult-like band of military fuck-wits that are being led by the
Kurtz-a-like Woody Harrelson, who looks like how a fat Marlon Brando
might have done had he posed in front of a complimentary circus
mirror. Along for the ride are a couple of Caesar's ape-friends who
act as his confidants and voices-of-reason. My friends, however, are
as bad as me... so fuck that ignorant fucking pig and her stupid
fucking phone. I hope she was getting bad news at the fucking time.
