Showing posts with label bestiality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bestiality. Show all posts

13 May 2019

Murder, Bestiality, Tinder, And Pokemon

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When I was about ten years old we had my cousin around to stay and in the four seconds that I took my eyes off him, he managed to delete all thirty fucking hours of the progress that I'd put into my Pokemon Yellow on the Gameboy Colour. I'd like to say that I took this gracefully as it had obviously been an accident on his part, but the reality is that I dropped down to my knees and screamed the word “no” as loud as I could like a dickhead. I wasn't wearing a vest at the time but if I had been I suspect that I'd have probably ripped it off to add to the fucking drama. Not only had he deleted where I was up to in my game but he'd essentially also murdered the Pikachu that I'd formed a bond within it. Yeah, that's right, I said 'murdered'. Anyway, that would all have been about twenty years ago now and although I'm obviously over it if he, Andrew, happens to be reading this and still wants to make it up to me then I suppose the only fair way of doing that would be to make things even right? So that would be oh I don't know, thirty hours of my chores that he could do in order for me to get back the time that was stolen and then maybe he could stand by and watch as I kick his favourite fucking pet to death, yeah? Maybe I'd feel better about it then, Andrew.






26 March 2017

It Doesn't Hold A Candelabra

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Beauty And The Beast is the latest of Disney's live-action cash-ins and begins as we all remember the animated original does. An old hag crashes a party and wonders why she's instantly told that she has to leave. Because when I have party I just love it when uninvited tramps decide to turn up for the free punch. I mean, I'm not exactly happy when the people I've invited turn up. However the hag turns out to be a witch and therefore places a curse on the owner of the house for having “no love in his heart”... she also curses everybody that he seems to know because presumably the hypocritical bitch has no love in her heart either. It's that kind of twatty act of magical revenge that probably prevented her from having any friends and parties of her own to go to. Not that I have any sympathy for either the Prince in charge of the party or the Beast the he ultimately becomes. He turned away a person in need, he's rich, he's a prick, and he has “no love in his heart”. If Donald Trump was turned into a monster, I wouldn't spend the movie hoping he'd find love in order to free himself of his curse. I'd spend it feeling smug that he now has to spend his life putting his shit into a litter tray instead of onto twitter.