The film begins with Christopher Robin telling his best-friend Winnie The Pooh that he'll be leaving to go to boarding school and that their time together has come to an end. Christopher Robin is clearly a fucking snake and it was from that point on that I refused to trust him. He doesn't tell his childhood chum that they'll be separated but he'll be back as soon as he can be. And nor does he seem particularly upset that he has to tell the innocent bear that their relationship is about to end. Nope. He just calmly sits him down, looks him in the eye and says “We're done”, with all the emotion of a fucking serial killer. From here we're given a snapshot of Robin's life and the hardships that he has to endure as he grows up. These trials range from a bad time at boarding school to the terrors he had to suffer whilst fighting in the war. The film doesn't talk much about how good a soldier he was although I'm guessing he was a shit one due to his complete lack of fucking loyalty with Pooh bear.
Trainspotting is
without a doubt my favourite film of all time and so the last thing I
needed was a shite sequel to it. As I saw something that I held so
close to me thrown all over the cinema screen like Spud's post-piss
up shit flung from his bed covers, I can only imagine the disappointment
I'd feel. I can imagine the new film starting and as its crapness
dawned on me, getting that sinking feeling in my stomach that dragged
me down through the cinema floor as Lou Reed played softly through my
mind. I might not have been the appropriate age to have seen the
first movie during its original decade-defining release, but for about
the last twelve years, there's only been one film that I turn to in
times of need. Whether shit is going well or shit is going wrong, I
don't just sit at home on the couch watching mind-numbing
spirit-crushing game shows. When depressed about my own failure to
choose a family, a career, a starter home.. when I lie there
wondering who the fuck I am on a Sunday morning, then I know it's time
to watch the film. I choose Renton's destructive connection to his
friends, Begbie's impotent rage, Sickboys unsuccessful schemes, and
contrary to Vin Diesel's appearance as a giant human potato, I choose
cinemas most iconic Spud.
