Showing posts with label Patton Oswalt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Patton Oswalt. Show all posts

22 January 2018

It's Chaos... Be Kind

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The best sign I ever saw simply said, “I fucked Jackie Smith on these steps and up the arse. What a slag”. Well, it wasn't so much of a sign as it was a bit of graffiti scrawled on a wall in Birkenhead but I think we got the message. If you ever meet a girl called Jackie Smith then buy her a drink because apparently she's fucking cool! In Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri Frances McDormand's grieving mother has a similar idea on how to spread her message... except rather than being a scrawled and misogynistic review of some post-bummed tart, McDormand is fucked off with the local police for failing to solve the case of her raped and murdered daughter. To quote director Martin McDonagh's brothers film Calvary, “That's certainly a startling opening”. Apparently the French title for this film translates back into English as The Billboards Of Wrath which is clearly a better title than what it ended up being. Not least of all because I keep accidentally referring to this film as The Three Burials Of Melquiades Estrada which is a slightly forgotten Tommy Lee Jones western from about ten years ago. Not to go on about Martin McDonagh's director brother however but perhaps another fitting title for this movie might have been his War On Everyone because in this film and presumably like Jackie Smith, Frances McDormand's character does not give a fuck about who she shits on to have her way.


31 July 2016

Busting Makes Me Feel Good

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Since the announcement of Paul Feig's Ghostbusters reboot, it seems that the world has gone fucking mad. Alleged fans of the original saw an all-female cast and a fresh start for their long dead franchise, and rather than being grateful they reacted by screaming holy fucking jihad. The director and cast began receiving death threats as though they'd organised a mass bonfire of every copy of the original film and just before the burning had started they'd stood on top of the pile and taken one huge collective 'fuck you' dump. Except that's not what they did, is it? They had a vision for a property that had literally done piss-all since its crappy sequel was released in 19-fucking-89 and they made a movie. A movie that up until now nobody in the world had even seen. It's like a child waking up on Christmas day, seeing their un-opened presents, and despite having no idea what's inside, they start crying because it's not what they wanted. Well, as far as I'm concerned, children like that don't deserve presents. They deserve to be drowned in a fucking well.