The
Dark Tower tells the story of a teenaged boy whose parents are
worried about the fact that he's constantly having strange dreams
about a huge tower and a man with a big gun. No guesses as to what
all that symbolises. Rather than accepting their son's obviously
repressed homosexuality however they decide to send him to a
psychiatrist. Or maybe it's because of his obviously repressed
homosexuality that they've decided to send him there? This is America
after all! I should point out that at no point does the film actually
deal with the issue of homosexuality in any way, shape, or form. But if
the kid came to me and explained that dream to me then I don't think
I'd be blamed for giving him a pat on the back, telling him that it
doesn't matter, and then hoofing him out the door for an impromptu holiday to Brighton. Anyway - so the kid's dreams come true, he travels through a
magical portal into a far away world, Idris Elba protects him from
monsters, and Matthew McConaughey tries to get him to scream down a
tower that's protecting our planet from a demon attack. You'll notice
that I didn't add “and he got the girl” in there. Hmm...
