Falling Into The Booby Trap

Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Podcasts

A few weeks before the new Tomb Raider film came out, the Jennifer Lawrence fronted Red Sparrow was also released which caused people to wonder if this might be a renaissance period for female-led franchise films. Does anybody even remember Red Sparrow anymore though? Did that end with somebody getting their skin ripped off by a cheese grater or am I just confusing it with the time I tried to make a pizza whilst stoned? Either way, it wasn't exactly successful and so Tomb Raider was left alone in carrying the burden of being an action movie that didn't focus exclusively on a white male actor who was probably called fucking Chris or something. Not only that but they decided to set themselves something of a challenge by making a movie that was also based on a video-game. For anybody that's never seen the Super Mario Brothers or Street Fighter films, this is generally about as good an idea as sticking your dick into an electrical socket to power the toaster that you're about to shove up your arse. Whether you play games or not however, the odds are that you'll know the name Lara Croft with her having achieved a somewhat iconic status already and having already previously featured in two earlier Tomb Raider movies. If not then she's basically a gun-toting archaeologist that teenagers used to secretly tug one out to in the '90s.

 Subscribe to the podcast!

The First Good Video Game Movie?

Join us on Facebook!

Like googling the phrase 'two girls one cup', invading Poland, or visiting Toxteth, it seems that adapting a video game into a movie is one of the worst things that you could ever possibly do. Over the years we've been hit by a tsunami of shit after people have tried and failed to successfully transition one medium to the other and yet film-makers still persist in trying. This is despite almost every case attempted so far ending its life as a Tomb Raider or Super Mario Bros. shaped turd bobbing its way towards cinemas like a bloated corpse in a sea of piss. Assassin's Creed is the latest series to attempt the jump from games to movies, however if the reviews are anything to go by, it would appear that the success of this leap of faith has been equal to watching a drunk bloke attempt a 60ft bungee into a post-curry cesspool whilst using only his dick for a rope.