This Film Is Dog Shit

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Netflix's The Wrong Missy begins with David Spade being mocked by Missy, the blind date that he's agreed to meet up with because he doesn't drink alcohol. Well, I don't drink alcohol either, although by the end of this fucking God-awful piece of shit movie I'd have been fully prepared to shoot heroin straight into my fucking dick if there was a chance that it would help me to forget. Nobody wants to make a bad film but this one is so fucking shitty that I honestly can't imagine that anybody involved had much intention of making a good one either. Lauren Lapkus plays the title character of The Wrong Missy and manages to give such an offensively irritating performance that you start to wonder if the actress might not actually be from our fucking planet. Surely a genuine member of our own species couldn't have such little insight into what it is to be a human that this would be the best they could come up with? Imagine Simple Jack crossed with a rapist that's been given amphetamines after being kicked in the head by a fucking horse and you're close to the horror show of her performance as Missy. If Lauren Lapkus is an alien then what she does here should be considered a declaration of war to which I suggest preemptively nuking every single planet within our fucking solar-system in response. David Spade's character is equally disturbed by her character and so decides to try and escape from his date by sneaking out of the bathroom window. Despite what we mere mortals might think when looking at this tiny gremlin of a man, this film treats David Spade as an actual living adonis for which the fairer sex can do all but resist. Throughout the entirety of The Wrong Missy, women continue to hurl themselves at him vagina first as I sat at home spraying vomit all up the fucking walls. 

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