I Gotta Have Faith

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To quote the great Woody Allen, “to you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the loyal opposition”. It was therefore with great anticipation that I went to see Martin Scorsese's latest film Silence which deals with God's seemingly never-ending decision to stay mute in spite of his followers' needs. I was talking to a Christian friend of mine once, when I asked him some of the more cliched questions regarding his religion- “Why do bad things happen to good people?”, “How insecure must a super-being be to create an ant-farm planet of humans that he insists must either worship him or spend an eternity in agonising damnation?”.. the usual bullshit. In every single case he confidently answered me with, “I don't know”, as though these things didn't bother him. Finally, I asked, “Why has nothing Bible related happened more recently than the time of the Bible? Since the invention of the camera, there's been no parting of the seas, no talking bushes, no booming voice from the sky...” It was at this point my religious friend lowered his head and with a defeated tone answered, “I don't know.. I just don't know.. but I wonder that all the time too”. He then went silent. “Right”, I thought, “My job here is done. I'm off for a fucking cheeseburger”.

The Power Of Faith

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Back in the day there was a man who was rather like a real life version of Father Christmas!! Jimmy Saville made children's dreams come true and raised so many millions for charities that you'd think he was a modern-day saint. Also, he was a raging pedophile and seemed to make no attempt to hide that fact. I was born after his popularity and so to me, Saville just looked like a creepy old fucker who couldn't have appeared more sinister had he presented his television shows whilst fingering his belly button and dribbling onto his pedo-bling. Aside from a few political connections and an apparent conspiracy of pedophile entertainers, it seems that Saville convinced people that he wasn't a nonce by doing his absolute best to seem exactly like one. For me this is very much how the Church seems to work. People worry about these shadowy groups that control the world from behind the scenes. Is it a secret Government organisation? The Illuminati? The Masons? Meanwhile there's a fucking great big shrine to the magical Jesus in almost every village in our country. On the surface it pretends to be all about spreading good-will and acceptance of all of God's children. Below this however it is a woman hating, gay hating, money obsessed organisation that is more than plagued by its own homegrown infestation of kiddie-rapists. I don't think that religion is bad. I think that some people are bad and that they use their faith in the make-believe sky lord as a justification for being massive evil cunts. Anyway, this all quite clearly leads us to the lighthearted comedy, drama, film, Philomena.