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Does anybody remember the Furby? They were
toys that looked a bit like if somebody had cut off a real animal’s head and
then glued some feet to its neck stump. They are actually still available for
kids today but I'm not sure how popular they are. I think young children are
less interested in playing with little hairy robots these days than they are
Xboxes and fucking. Well I had one when I was younger and it was quite fun I
suppose. More fun than any of my real pets, anyway. I had some rats too but one
was a cool, English speaking toy, and the others would literally piss all over
me. Anyway, as is the way with such things, I eventually grew bored and my cute
little cyborg found himself covered in dust and buried at the back of my
wardrobe. Cut to about seven years later and I'm woken up in the middle of the
night by the sound of a creature in agony. Electronic screams and moans came
from somewhere in my room and scared the living shit out of me. As it turned
out, my Furby had been sitting dormant, growing old alone and now it was time
for him to die. The poor little fucker seemed to be having some sort of stroke
as all his words came out all slurred and garbled. I dug him out from where
he'd spent the bulk of his life, felt an unexpected pang of guilt and then
ripped out his batteries for the final time. His loneliness and pain was
finally over and I honestly can't describe how terrible I felt. I'm not too
sure what happened to my rats... I think they got a load of tumours and so we
threw them in the bin. What a poor little Furby.