Anger Leads To Hate

Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Podcasts

You all remember Rose from the previous Star Wars movie right? She was the character that taught one of our main heroes why kindness is so important and why love is more powerful than hate. She was endearingly played by the actress Kelly Marie Tran who then went on to receive so much racist abuse for having appeared in the movie that she had to delete all of her social media accounts to get away from it. Well, you cunts will be happy to know that she's barely in this new movie. You won. Every online prick that derided The Last Jedi for daring to be original, to dodge cliché, and to be fresh, has gotten their own fucking way. And don't give me any of that shit about you being fans and that you simply knew better than the previous writer and director because you can absolutely get fucked on that one. I've been obsessed with Star Wars since I was seven years old and I'll hands down challenge any of you motherfuckers to a Star Wars-off without even breaking a fucking sweat. I live, breathe, and sleep Star Wars to the point that I accidentally had my very first wank whilst I was lying in bed as a kid and using my dick as a joystick to fly my imaginary X-Wing on what turned out to be a particularly turbulent assault on the Death Star. What an explosive ending that turned out to be. Do you know the master-cheat to the N64's Star Wars: Podracer? Because not only do I still remember it, RRTANGENTABACUS, but I have that shit constantly repeating in my head like I'm being hounded by a dyslexic force ghost with fucking Tourette's. 

Subscribe to the podcast!

Why It's Good That People Might Hate This Movie

Join us on Facebook!

A lot of people are going to hate Star Wars: The Last Jedi. But then a lot of people believe that it's good luck to be shat on by a bird as it flies over and so ultimately who even gives a fuck about what 'people' think? When reading about the latest Star Wars movie, it's always useful to know how a person already feels about the franchise in order to gauge the reason for their response and decide how much shite they're talking. Oh, you think Jar Jar is shit because he's for children, but the Ewoks are cute? Just give me a second to ignore almost everything that your nostalgia-cursed brain is about to crap out. Not that I'm defending Jar Jar of course. Fuck him. He literally looks like a racist person dreamed about that time a Rastafarian accidentally fucked a duck. To get you up to speed with me, I fell in love with the original films during the 1997 re-release at the perfect age of 8. When I was a kid, Han Solo was the coolest person I could think of that wasn't Roger Moore, and as a 12 year old I accidentally had my first wank whilst using my cock to pilot my imaginary X-Wing as I tried to blow up the Death Star. Who knew an explosion could be so life changing?! I was about ten years old when the prequels came out and, initially, I loved them, but as I became increasingly infected by common sense, I came to see them for the soulless husks of crap they are. Oh.. and to skip to the end.. I loved The Last Jedi with pretty much all of my cholesterol-choked heart.