Why You Should See Gods Of Egypt

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As an agnostic I was always open-minded to the possibility of an afterlife, and miracles, and all of that other religious bollocks. I just needed proof. Well after almost three decades of existence I have finally been given the definitive answer as to where that truth lies. There is a God and I can only assume that he's a very fucking angry one. Previously we'd be subject to plagues and famines if we pissed our unprovable overlords off, however our modern deity has a new form of punishment. Although we might expect to see our rivers turning red with blood, we instead now find our cinemas polluted with shit. Because Gods Of Egypt was so truly terrible, I refuse to believe that a mere human was capable of making it. It's one of those movies that's actually so confusingly awful that you genuinely run the risk of losing your grasp on reality whilst watching it. I mean, we went to see this at the cinema and subsequently burst out two hours later completely confused that it was still the same day that we'd gone in. It was as if that screening was the wardrobe that led to Narnia and we all thought we'd lived a lifetime in there before being blinded by that same day's sun as though we were staring up at the fucking mothership from Close Encounters. Gods Of Egypt was like a bad night out drinking in that you don't remember what happened but you're certain that you didn't have fun and you know that your IQ has dropped as a result.