Is it just me or is Disney going
through a bit of a change? Having not seen a new animated Disney film
for some time I wandered down to the cinema at Christmas to see
Frozen. Turns out I really
liked it. What I thought would be about a goofy snowman and a
disabled moose was actually a classic-feeling Disney movie about
princesses, power and how kindness prevails. As the film ended
I felt happy and good about myself. The joy of seeing Frozen
was as though I'd just slipped a happy pill under my eye and it'd
dissolved straight into my bloodstream. Then I left the cinema and
reality rushed back in, hitting me like a tidal wave of shit. I
remembered that despite what Disney says the world is a horrible
place and it is filled to the brim with horrible cunts. However,
like a junkie looking for the next fix I decided that I wanted to see
Tangled. I'd read reviews for
Frozen and from what I
could gather both films were critically well received but with the
general consensus being that Tangled was
the better of the two. For those who don't know Tangled is
basically an adaptation of the classic fairytale Rapunzel
but as filtered through the bollock-stained spectacles of Uncle Walt.
Last night I managed to get around to seeing it for myself and to be
honest... it was really good. |
| "Up my bum or not at all". |
Speaking
of the villain, is it just me or does she look a hell of a lot like
Cher? And now that I think about it, Cher too is obsessed with
retaining a youthful appearance! I guess the difference is
though that the woman in Tangled can
use magic to preserve her complexion whereas poor old Cher has to
staple back her skin and inject bits of her arse into her face. As a
villain though, I really liked the Hag with her attempts at hiding
the outside world to the Princess through half arsed expressions of
fake love being quite amusing. I myself actually have a stepmum and
so can more than relate to forced affection being a mask for sheer
murderous contempt. Having said that it doesn't seem to take much to
keep the girl locked up in the tower happy because for the most part
she seems to be having a great time. Rapunzel frolics about her small
room, whipping her hair about like a swing and talking to her Pascal
the friendly chameleon with nothing but joy. Again speaking from
experience if only the girl had also had things to play with like an
Xbox or a dick perhaps then she'd have never wanted to leave her room
at all.
It's
odd really to see this and Frozen because
like most humans I grew up on Disney films and yet haven't seen any
in years. There's something nice to know that they're still kind of
making the same sort of thing but updated for each generation. In the
way that Aladdin feels
like it was made in the 90's this too feels like a film from the
10's. I'm not sure why though... I'm guessing that the clue is in
each decades updated style of animation and new characters that cater
to the state of society. The female characters get more independent
and feistier and the male characters get more insecure and emotional.
Take the lead male here for example who seems to be riddled with a
kind of contemporary cynicism to the point where his character traits
are just an invention to hide his true self. In the past we could
probably have taken his heroic bollocks at face value with him seeing
the error of his ways as the story progressed. Here however
everything about him is fake from his name to his smoulder as though
his entire persona is metaphorical of the bullshit lives that we all
fake on Facebook.
People
accuse Disney of encouraging the idea of gender stereotypes which of
course they do with their portrayal of princes and princesses
reinforcing the clichés and presenting them to children. However
surely if the world wants to be more androgynous then these two
characters must be a slow step in the right direction? The only
reason that the thief here acts how he does is because he's playing
up to the image of masculinity that's thrust upon us and not because
he's promoting it. There was some controversy with this film because
it changed its title from Rapunzel to
Tangled which some
considered sexist. In Disney's defence though, they couldn't give a
solitary fuck about being our moral compass if it comes at the cost
of making a profit. They worried that by keeping the
princesses name as a title it would put young boys off from wanting
to see the film as had been the case with their previous effort The
Princess and The Frog. I
understand the dilemma but to me it seems like more of a vicious
circle than a deliberate ploy. Disney only want to give the public
what they want which will only serve to worsen the issue. If people
stop paying then Disney will change their attitudes too and that's
really all there is too it.
I understand that
for some people gender stereotypes are a problem but for me
personally there are a few other things that Disney movies do to
infect my brain with even worse anger-lice than that. They are:-
- The way they reinforce the idea of happy endings. It's not that I don't believe in happy endings it's just that in reality they only ever occur at the end of a particularly wanky massage. Other than that, most lives consist of lies, loneliness and a sad, depressing death.
- The way they romanticise the idea of romance. The trouble I've had in the past because some girls believe in the idea of 'true love' and 'soul mates' has resulted in a bald patch on the chest hair above where my heart should be. I'm sure some guys have also been deluded by this heart shaped disease of the mind but as of yet I've not tried to pull them for it to be my problem. I just don't want you thinking that I think only women can fall for all that lovey-dovey bollocks.
- The constant obsession with personifying animals. I am a fussy fucking eater as it is and I really hate vegetables and yet Disney keeps making my meals seem cute when they were alive. It's not that they're wrong about this by the way but it still makes me feel really fucking guilty every time I eat something that could once have been a main character in one of their films.
 |
| "I got you Babe". |
As for
the personification of animals well that's also definitely true of
Tangled too however in
this films case it's a chameleon and a horse that have been humanized
which is fine. I don't eat chameleons and I only ever eat horse when
I'm buying cheap sausages from some dodgy supermarket and unknown to
me they've blended a few up and chucked them in for fun. What was
interesting I thought though with the horse is that like the reindeer
from Frozen it also
seems to have been cross bred with a dog. I don't know why they've
done this but in both films cases the result was enjoyable amusing.
However here if the horse is one third horse and one third dog then
it's also seems to be one third Jim Carrey. Watch the things erratic,
determined and spontaneous movements and you'll swear it must be the
result of Ace Venture once having entered a horse in something... and
I don't mean in race!! I mean its vagina as he fucked it...
At the
end of the day though Tangled was
still a really enjoyable film. Like I said, it's nothing too new but
I suppose Disney's animated movies are a bit like the Bond
franchise. They've
got a formula to stick to with, the only challenge being to update it
for each decade and ultimately just make a great new film. I think
that on the face of it, Tangled was
probably a better movie however I think personally I probably did
prefer Frozen. The two
are quite similar with Tangled having
come first but of the three issues that piss me off, Frozen
was the most subversive and
particularly regarding the issue of 'true love'. In the last
five years Disney has given us a black princess, less clichéd role
models and in Frozen's case
the idea that the love between a man and a woman isn't the be all and
end all. Considering that these films do brainwash our children from
an early age, this movement towards a less archetypal world is surely
a good thing? Whether Disney is the chicken or the egg, its progress
might be slow but it is happening and so long as they keep making
great and classic films then I really can't complain. Well- I can
complain obviously as the previous 2000 words have proven but you get
my point.... Now erm... well thanks for reading and err... fuck off!
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