12 July 2016

Star Trek 3: The Search For Spock

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Star Trek 3: The Search For Spock - What the fuck is it about?

I mean the story for this film is pretty obvious I suppose, considering the title is 'The Search For Spock'. Although I still think that a better title would have been Star Trek 3: Finding Nemoy. The previous film ends with Kirk shooting Spock's dead body out of the Enterprise, jettisoned towards the planet Genesis. It was the perfect blend of sci-fi, funeral, and fly-tipping. Coincidently, the planet in question has an atmosphere that apparently allows things to come back from the dead, which is lucky. Somebody should book a flight to it for Lindsay Lohan's career. Before Spock died, he conveniently popped his memories into Bones' head, which was also pretty lucky. It was basically like saving onto a USB a few seconds before your computer crashes. Kirk discovers this when he finds McCoy acting as though he's been possessed whilst sitting in Spocks bedroom. To be fair, I suspect that the odder of Star Trek's fans have done much stranger things in their rooms with their Bones.

The mission therefore is to travel to Planet Plot Contrivance where Spock's body has been resurrected and plonk his memories back into his head. Did I mention that Spock is a child now? No? Well, he is. The planet brought him back as a kid because it somehow knew that Nemoy was directing and wanted to save him the job of acting too. Honestly, this planet is so useful. If only it had written the script to the first fucking movie too!

So was it shit or not then?

With this, it was as though they'd turned my dead Granddad into a movie. I didn't love it, but you know.. I didn't hate it. The biggest problem that the film really has is that it seems to exist exclusively as a way of un-doing all the drama of the previous movie. Kind of in the way that the X-Men franchise now seems to exist with the sole purpose of undoing the events of X-Men 3. The main difference obviously being that, unlike X3, Wrath of Khan wasn't a steaming puddle of piss. Actually, speaking of X3, do you remember when McKellen gave the shittest ever delivery of the phrase 'what have I done'?! Well, it turned out that Shatner actually had him beat all along. Kirk witnesses the Enterprise explode and attempts that line with the same level of bored emotion that I have when holding a conversation with my family. Having said that, it's kind of a shame that Shatner has now descended into tedious self-parody because he's actually pretty good in these. Well, there is another moment in which he reacts to the death of his son in the style of Jim Carrey shitting his pants, but I guess nobodies perfect.

I did like this film too, to a degree. I was really excited to finally see the Klingons and even more excited when I found out that the main one was an angry Christopher Lloyd looking like he'd smeared himself in shit and then rolled about on a barbershop floor. It was fun watching the young Spock grow up over the course of ninety minutes too which is something that the average Star Trek fan hasn't managed in up to fifty fucking years. The theme of movie is regarding how far friends will go for each other and here we learn that if one friend assumes another friend is dead and then finds out that he was wrong... he'll go and pick him up. I'd like to think that I have friends that would do that for me. So poignant.