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Musicals are a strange old thing. Especially the ones in which crowds spring into a huge song and dance routines en mass and then go back to their normal activities as though nothing had ever happened. It's sort of as though every musical like that belongs to a George A Romero-like apocalyptic sub-genre in which humanity has been infected with some sort of singing tourettes. If the afflicted in 28 Days Later were bitten by a rage infected monkey then I can only assume the occupants of a musical were bitten by whatever this genre's equivalent is. I don't know what that would be but I'm thinking.. probably.. Bonnie Tyler. As such, I can see why some people wouldn't like musicals. It is strange to see people express their inner thoughts and deepest emotions with what looks like a completely improvised song and dance that everybody knows the lyrics and choreography too. Although fuck it- I'm English, so I'm shocked whenever people simply express their deepest emotions regardless of how they do it.

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Personally, I've never learnt how to play a musical instrument but that's okay because people assume I have anyway. I'm scruffy, I have an eyebrow piercing and my hair hasn't been cut in years. If people aren't asking me if I've found somewhere safe to sleep for the night then they're asking if I'm in a band. Sadly the only thing I lack to be able to start a group is any musical talent whatsoever... Although when did that ever stop Nickelback from giving it a go? I tried to learn the ukulele a few years back but as I wasn't a master player straight from the beginning I threw the thing in the cupboard and haven't touched it since. Maybe I'd have had a chance when I was younger but fuck it, I've since been inflicted with a strong desire to not be arsed with anything that doesn't provide me with instant enjoyment. This is why my grandparents are in an old folk’s home, my ex-girlfriend is my ex-girlfriend and my Ukulele is currently gathering dust. If I did have the patience, I think I'd start by learning to play the drums. Not because I have any interest in the instrument but more because I can't fucking stand my next-door neighbours.