So What Is Spectre Really About?

The dead are alive. These are the opening words that hammer on screen and begin James Bond's latest post-shag, pre-drink murder-sprees. At the start of Spectre, 007 is off-duty in Mexico and chasing down a fat foreign guy that he promptly kills for no good or obvious reason. Maybe this is an unofficial mission or maybe it's simply how an 'imperialistic right-wing fuck-face' chooses to relax. Either way it essentially kick-starts the latest story, dealing with the fate of MI6, the circumstances of Bond's childhood, and the threat of a sinister organisation that may even be more evil than the tax-dodging Starbucks. As a fully-obsessed fan of the series, I once received a poker chip from the casino in Skyfall for Christmas that a friend suggested I show to every single girl I meet. If I ever find one that recognises it as being from that film then apparently it's proof that she's the one for me and I should propose on the spot. Well, the same test could sort of be applied to any friendship with this entire film. The question is “What do those opening four words refer to?” If the answer is "Sum of da people in da opening Day of da Dead sequence look lyk zombies” then you're to get the fuck out of my life. As anybody with at least three brain cells will be able to deduce, the correct answer is “The filmmakers are literally spelling out the film's theme for all of the thick people in the audience”.

The Power Of Faith

Visit and join our new Facebook page!

Back in the day there was a man who was rather like a real life version of Father Christmas!! Jimmy Saville made children's dreams come true and raised so many millions for charities that you'd think he was a modern-day saint. Also, he was a raging pedophile and seemed to make no attempt to hide that fact. I was born after his popularity and so to me, Saville just looked like a creepy old fucker who couldn't have appeared more sinister had he presented his television shows whilst fingering his belly button and dribbling onto his pedo-bling. Aside from a few political connections and an apparent conspiracy of pedophile entertainers, it seems that Saville convinced people that he wasn't a nonce by doing his absolute best to seem exactly like one. For me this is very much how the Church seems to work. People worry about these shadowy groups that control the world from behind the scenes. Is it a secret Government organisation? The Illuminati? The Masons? Meanwhile there's a fucking great big shrine to the magical Jesus in almost every village in our country. On the surface it pretends to be all about spreading good-will and acceptance of all of God's children. Below this however it is a woman hating, gay hating, money obsessed organisation that is more than plagued by its own homegrown infestation of kiddie-rapists. I don't think that religion is bad. I think that some people are bad and that they use their faith in the make-believe sky lord as a justification for being massive evil cunts. Anyway, this all quite clearly leads us to the lighthearted comedy, drama, film, Philomena.