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Watching
The Hitman's Bodyguard was
like watching a remake of Midnight Run but
if it was from the writer of Mr Bean's fucking
Holiday. Beat for beat this film
followed the DeNiro/Grodin classic but if all the jokes and charm of
the original had been replaced by somebody that had only heard of the
concept of 'wit' after having had a child explain it to them through
the expressive art of dance. Ryan Reynolds is a bodyguard; Samuel L
Jackson a hitman. The former must escort the latter from prison to
court as the two avoid ambushes from other interested parties and
bicker their way from A to B. Hilarity ensues.. is presumably what
the writer wrote into the script with every intention of eventually
going back and adding that hilarity.. before something got in the way
and prevented them. I'm assuming death. Or at the very least I hope
it was death because if they see the film that's finally hit the
screen then they will likely end up dying of fucking shame regardless.