A Real Disaster At The Movies

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So it was Friday night and I'd arranged to go to the cinema with my friends to see the disaster movie Deepwater Horizon. It's about an oil rig that exploded and in which people died or something. Anyway, about an hour before we'd arranged to meet, the real disaster struck when every single one of my shit-house friends individually messaged to cancel on me. I mean, what was I meant to do? Only fucking losers go to the cinema alone on a Friday night and I obviously wasn't about to do that was I?! Anyway so I got to the cinema on my own and found my seat. I was trying to be discreet although in retrospect the flask of tea may have been a mistake. I took it with me because I'm English and we sometimes just can't help ourselves. Also I was alone at the cinema on a Friday night.. how much more could the other fuckers there really judge me?! Anyway so just as the film began I undid the lid and, forgetting how hot tea is, I accidentally unleashed so much steam that I pretty much turned my aisle into a fucking sauna. Now I think about it, perhaps this kind of thing is why nobody will come the cinema with me... On the bright-side however, as the giant sea-based oil rig began to explode, I couldn't help but feel that I'd actually created a much more immersive environment for everybody around me. So you know.. you're welcome!