A DC Film That's Wonderful

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In 1913 the Suffragette Emily Davison threw herself in front of the King's horse and lost her life in the name of equal rights. From then on, all was right with the world and the two genders have been treated as absolute equals ever since. Well.. you know.. other than the slight difference in pay that women face. And the glass ceiling. Oh, and the shockingly high levels of sexual assault, sexual harassment, and sexual objectification that they suffer. By all means they do have the vote now, but if somebody dares to do an all-female reboot of Ghostbusters then that's where we men-folk draw the fucking line, it seems! As such, Wonder Woman is a revelation. It's the first big-studio Superhero movie to have a female lead in over twelve years. Of course there was Catwoman and Elektra before this, however like that time I was asked to do the dishes and so smashed them up the fucking walls to ensure I'd never be asked again, those two films were beyond shite. It's also the first ever superhero film to be directed by what Moonraker's Bond would refer to with surprise as 'a woman'. Oh, and it's also the largest budget film to be entrusted to the gender that we men have constantly referred to as, 'darling', 'sweetheart', 'love', and under very special circumstances, “sugar tits”.

Live And Let Live

In many ways I regret getting my dog because I've grown annoyingly fond of her and I know that one day the bitch will break my heart and die. For years I refused to watch animal documentaries because I didn't like the idea of seeing a shark rip open a seal or a crocodile pulling the head off a zebra. People say I should man up because it's just part of life, but fuck them! When I was younger I lived in the kind of area where a young girl would drop her pants in the park and then casually do a shit under the slide. Just because something's part of life it doesn't mean I need to watch Richard Attenborough narrate it on a Sunday night. Around the time she was doing her public dump, there seemed to be a weird sub-genre of animal abuse movies that masqueraded as kids films that I didn't like either. They all had the exact same plot in which a child would befriend an animal that would be taken away and tormented by the adults before being rescued by the kid at the end. Free Willy is probably a good example of this with the film-makers cleverly realising that the simplest way of creating drama in a film for children is by finding a cute, innocent creature and then fucking it up. Like those shit movies from my youth, my dog too has found herself in trouble when I've needed to protect her. Another dog attacked her once and so I had to kick it in the face... Job’s a good’n. Let's move on.