Against The Odds?

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Life begins with us being dragged, kicking and screaming from our mothers vagina, and then it's all downhill from there. Some people are born stupid and will spend most of their lives shoving junk food into their mouths and trying not to bump into any obstacles that don't have the corresponding genitals. For those of you who weren't blessed with stupidity then there are some magical herbs that will help to defend you from your own piece of shit mind. I won't name them but they're famously available in Amsterdam, parts of America, and from a bloke in Liverpool called Billy Baggy. I'm an over-thinker, which means that as soon as it gets dark, my brain likes to torment me to the point that if I worked in a motel, I'd probably be dressing up as it and killing people as they shower. With the magical herbs however, the world is a beautiful place to behold. There's no stress, everything tastes nicer, and things are incredibly entertaining to simply stare at. I once spent about fifteen minutes looking at a door handle because it was just so god-damn fucking shiny and white.

Wings And Desire

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In many ways I envy people who have religion. I'd much rather believe that I'll one day be sitting on a cloud instead of simply being chewed up and then squirted out of a worm’s anus. Not only that but religious people believe that God has a plan for us all. How nice is that? Life might seem fucking pointless to me but even if it's pointless for a religious person, that's okay because that's what the Sky-Boss wants. As of right now, the only things I have planned for the week are to go to my soul destroying job in the day and then spend the evenings fantasising about the ways in which I could commit suicide. For me, I think the old noose-and-a-wank is currently the top of the possibilities. I'd like to have some higher-power comforting me that there is some reason to the misery of life but sadly I'm not a fucking idiot. God is dead and we're all alone in an angst-ridden vacuum of meaninglessness. Anyway, so to get to the point, I really enjoyed that new Michael Keaton film.